Who I am?

It seems like I've done nothing at all in 2012.

I wonder what would have happened if I'd stayed where I was a year ago. In so many ways I've moved on from my old self.
I've tried to be a better person. I think that my behavior has greatly improved.
I've put more thought into what others want before I've focused on myself.
I just wonder if that's the best road to take.
I try so hard to be unselfish, giving, loyal.
I think that's how the ideal person should be.

I could be selfish. I could be materialistic and care for only myself. I could be greedy and vain,
but I choose not to. Life would be so much easier if I only focused on my wants.
I just can't bring myself to do that, and I don't know why. Everyone else seems to be great at it.

Maybe that's why I think we, as a society, suck.

The majority of people wouldn't look out for their neighbor's best interest. If they did, there wouldn't be so much violence these days. People would be more conscious of their thoughts and actions. There would be respect and acceptance on the streets, not homicides and prostitutes.

Maybe prostitutes.

Probably prostitutes. Love is love, man.

I just feel myself getting so run down again. It's a vicious cycle... Trying to be the perfect person, but imploding every year or two and causing more damage in a week than I would in all those saintly years.

I have to fix this bug inside of me.

But I think maybe it's normal... to want to be selfish.. to want to get out and do whatever I want to do.. to not think about any consequences.

I don't know.

I need to be a good person.
I HAVE to be a good person.