Hating my Implanon/Nexplanon thing

This could turn into a messy TMI  post... read if you dare!

Here's the story about how I was urged to get the birth control implant, how I loved it, and how I now hate it:

Once upon a time, my uterus preferred to not be a landlord.
I had several miscarriages in a row, then 'Wow a kid!,' then, more miscarriages, one more little angel, then another miscarriage.

I told my OB that I didn't want more children, I'm wonderfully happy with the two that I do have, and I wanted to get the tubes tied and not worry about getting pregnant and having complications in the future. He refused, saying I was too young and I may want to try again later, and he couldn't take that from me. I was pretty frustrated. I've had too many ER trips and blood loss for a lifetime. It's just something I know I don't want to chance again.

He told me my options, and I liked none of them. I want to be sterile. I love my children, and they're enough.

I just hate the idea of something foreign inside my body, giving me a dose of Who The Hell Knows, altering my hormones and my mood.
I want to be as natural as possible.
I get it though... he's a doctor... slave to prescription drug companies... and he wants me to continue to see him and spend my money on things that he says are good for me. I don't buy into all that.
I'm a firm believer in natural remedies and good nutrition and general, chemical/drug free health.
There's got to be something for me.

Which is why I loved the idea of being sterile. No hormones. No shots. No pills. No strange things hiding in my body.

But that wasn't an option.
Also, my insurance would have expired within the next  6 weeks, so I needed to figure out what I was doing right away.

The doc told me the implant would be my best option because it would basically make me sterile for 3 years. He said it had better statistics that getting my tubes tied would.
So I begrudgingly agreed.

It hurt. I'm resistant to most pain meds. They take longer to kick in, and I generally need a higher dose than the average person. I don't understand why. I've never been the type of person to take medicine unless I absolutely can't stand the pain anymore.
He put in the local numb maker and I asked him to wait a few minutes before jamming in the giant needle, but he said it had been enough time and I wouldn't feel a thing. Wrong, Doctor. I felt it all. I felt the giant needle and watched in horror as my skin was stretched further than I ever thought it could go... but it was over in a minute and he wrapped up my arm and left. He hadn't even spent 5 minutes in the room with me. I was to call him after 3 years to get it removed.

The first 3 weeks were awful. Heavy period the entire time. Feeling it poke me under my skin.
After that though.... 9 months of virtually no period. I'd spot occasionally, sure. My "period" lasted 1 or 2 days every other month or so....
but recently, it's like the first month of having it in. It's been over 2 weeks since my period started. It's dark and gross...
Sex seems to trigger it. The last few times I've been able to... I go to clean up afterward and I'm already bleeding and embarrassed. Then the heavy stuff starts the next day. Every time.
Forget a physically intimate relationship!

I still feel the implant poking me sometimes, and I hate that.
I hate the hormones.
I hate that I've been eating pretty clean since the first of the year and running the majority of it, and now trying T25, and I've lost only 3 pounds?!? Since January 1st ?!?
I know it's keeping the weight on.
I got the implant right after a miscarriage when I was really puffy and out of shape, and I still weight practically the same, with all my healthy changes over the last 7 months.

I want it gone.

I want to be me again.
I want my good ol' predictable period and regular weight back.
No more hormones.
No more doctor drugs.